Are you a former cricketer? Then you might qualify!
If you said they all once played cricket for India, you’d be correct. But that’s stating the obvious.
If you said they’d all like to be coach of the Indian national cricket team, bravo! You just won the grand prize!
That’s right, cricket fans. Former cricketers from across the nation are popping up to announce their desire for the Mother of All Coaching Assignments.
And here are their credentials:
Ashok Malhotra:
"I have coached the Indian 'A' team. I have also been coaching at the National Cricket Academy, but nobody from the BCCI seems to have noticed.”
"Nobody approached me, nobody approached Madan Lal. Both of us are doing coaching at some level in India, but the BCCI doesn't seem to care."
"Everybody says John Wright did a good job, but what exactly did he do? He could not rectify Sourav Ganguly's short-pitched delivery problem for five years."
Oh, sure. That’s definitely a sign of failure. 5 years as coach, and—get out the brick bats—he couldn’t even rectify Ganguly’s short-pitched delivery problem!
Two ICC Championship Cup finals, a World Cup final, a 4-4 record against arguably the greatest team in history (including an historic 2-1 home series win and a 1-1 tied series Down Under), a NatWest Trophy win—all these count for squat, because—heaven’s to Betsy—Wright couldn’t rectify Ganguly’s short-pitched delivery problem!
Ashok, you’re clearly the guy for the job!
Ajit Wadekar:
"Are they appointing a clerk?"
This is what Wadekar said about the candidates being asked to submit their CVs and come in for interviews.
He’s right. After all, I can get a job as President, CEO, or heck, even a middle level manager in any company without a CV and interview. Just look at my past accomplishments!
Oh wait a minute... That’s what a CV is supposed to communicate!
And calling me in for an interview is a waste of time, of course. Simply by knowing my name—Greg Chappell, Ajit Wadekar, Kapil Dev, Michael Jordan, Jim Carrey—you’d immediately be able to intuitively figure out my plans and vision for the team and Indian cricket in general. This is so obvious that it deserves a smack of the head.
Uh... Ajit... Maybe you’re not being considered, because (a) you don’t have the support of the current players, and (b) you coached India before, and while you made us tigers at home, you made us lambs outside—not exactly the stuff that’s going to take India to the number one spot.
Balwinder Singh Sandhu:
"I feel I should also be one of the contenders for the national job. If not as a regular coach, at least as a bowling coach.”
From Rediff.com: “Sandhu said he has the experience and qualifications and wants the BCCI to consider his candidature.”
Has he been in touch with international cricket? Is he the guy who will help India win the 2007 World Cup? Or help it to become the #1 Test team?
Bowling coach, eh? Hmm... Worth a thought. But if he’s been coaching at the National Cricket Academy, how come we’re not producing fast bowlers who can perform on a consistent basis?
Mohinder Amarnath:
He’s my favorite. Check out these quotes:
Amarnath was asked on NDTV Hindi about the trend of Asian teams appointing foreign coaches. His response: "Agar aap samajhte hain ke kisi ka rang gora hai aur chamdi alag kism kee hai to vo behtar hai, to mai bhee Fair and lovely lagana shuru kar deta hu ke mera rang bhee waisa ho jaaye." ("if you think that just because someone's color is white and his skin is different that makes him better then even I will begin using Fair and Lovely so I can make my color like that.")
His views on the use of technology: "I don¹t have laptop. I only have a lap."
Are you a former Indian cricketer? Feel free to throw your hat into the ring! You might just be what Indian cricket needs!
My vote: Make Amarnath coach. I doubt we can do much worse on the field, but at least we’ll have plenty of laughs!





